Are You Tactful?

Are you tactful? Being tactful is not that hard. You just have to consider other people's feelings before you utter those nasty words. If you have some kind of grudge or animosity of that person, you might as well, keep it to yourself or lest, you will hurt him.

Tact is the ability to appreciate the delicacy of a situation and to do or say the kindest or most fitting thing. The word originally referred to touch.

To avoid being tactless, we should strive to be kind to people, for we do not know how they really feel. We should always be alert to signs that reveal a person's feelings and respond with a kind word or act.

Learning the Art of Being Tactful

• Understand the feelings of others
Jesus was outstanding in perceiving people's feelings and at discerning how best to treat them kindly. Once He was dining in the house of Simon, a Pharisee, when a woman known in the city to be a sinner approached Him. Again, no words were spoken, but there was plenty to observe. She brought an alabaster case of perfumed oil, and, taking a position behind at (Jesus') feet, she wept and started to wet His feet with her tears and she would wipe them off with the hair of her head. Also, she tenderly kissed His feet and greased them with the perfumed oil. Jesus recognized what all of this meant. And even though Simon did not say anything, Jesus was Man, if he were a prophet, would know who and what kind of woman it is that is touching Him, that she is "a sinner." —Luke 7:37-39.

Can you imagine the harm that would have been caused if Jesus had pushed the woman away or if He had said to Simon: "You ignorant man? Can't you see that she is repentant?" Instead, Jesus tactfully presented Simon with an illustration about a man who forgave one person a large debt and another person a much smaller debt. "Which of them will love him the more?" Jesus asked. Thus, rather than appearing to condemn Simon, Jesus was able to commend him for the correct reply that Simon gave. Then He kindly helped Simon to recognize the many signs of the woman's true feelings and her expressions of repentance. Jesus turned to the woman and kindly indicated to her that He understood her feelings. He told her that her sins were forgiven and thereafter said: "Your faith has saved you; go your way in peace." How those tactful words must have strengthened her resolve to do what was right! (Luke 7:40-50) Jesus succeeded in being tactful because He observed how people felt and responded compassionately.

Just as Jesus helped Simon, so we can learn and then help others to understand the unspoken language of emotion. Does he or she feel insulted, ignored, or misunderstood? How could kindness make him or her feel better?

Parents do well to help your children learn to cultivate compassion, since this is what will move them to act tactfully.