There's no place like home for the holidays... At least that's how the popular song goes. But for many couples, the question of where to spend the holidays is often filled with tension, conflict and guilt.
A generation ago, most families spent the holidays together. It was relatively easy to bring grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles from both sides of the family together for holiday gatherings.
But in today's transient society, where families often live thousands of miles apart, many couples are forced to decide which set of in-laws they'll spend the holidays with. One marriage counselor states, "…there's no denying that the holidays are one of the top causes of tensions among in-laws. In some families, the holidays can be as strained as a ceasefire along the Israel-Palestine border..."
Are you trying to balance loyalties for your own parents as well as your in-laws and spouse.
Many couples approach the holidays pragmatically. They decide to spend Christmas with her parents and New Year with his. It's a solution that works well for many couples – until, of course, they have children. Then everything changes.
Grandparents naturally want to spend time with their grandchildren during the holidays and may resent having to share them with the "other grandparents." Couples often feel caught in a tug of war, unable to please anyone, least of all themselves.
That's one of the reasons why psychologists often advise couples to create their own holiday traditions early in the marriage. By establishing their own customs, couples not only strengthen their commitment to one another, but assert their independence from their families – in a positive, non-threatening way.
Couples, who are torn about which family to spend the holidays with, often decide to spend the holidays alone or with friends. Others decide to invite the whole clan over to their house for dinner.
In most cases, parents are more than happy to relinquish the responsibility of holiday gatherings to their married children.
While some couples like to carry on the traditions set forth by their parents, it's important for couples to add their own spin to the holidays, whether it's introducing a new dish or setting aside an hour of caroling or games.
Although there is no simple solution to keeping everyone happy, there are things you can do to alleviate some of the stress and tension that often surface during the holidays.
• Respect the customs/traditions of your in-laws. Your in-laws may celebrate the holidays in ways that are very foreign to you. Try to keep an open mind and be nonjudgmental.
• Be loyal to your spouse. As a married couple, your first priority should be to your spouse – not your parents or in-laws. Decide together how you'll spend the holidays and stand firm in your decision. Don't allow either set of parents to pit you against one another.
• Have realistic expectations. Everyone feels tremendous pressure to make the holidays as perfect as possible. Things come up that you can't always anticipate, so try to be flexible. Keep in mind that the holidays you remember as a child may not measure up to what you experience as an adult.
• Put your differences aside. The holidays can bring out the best and the worst in people. Don't let past grudges ruin the holidays. If you've had a disagreement with one of your in-laws (Or a member of your own family), do the mature thing and call a truce. The holidays are the perfect time to forgive and forget.
• Make plans early. Don't wait until the last minute to tell people how you plan to spend the holidays. If you don't want to accept a holiday invitation with your parents or in-laws, politely decline and make plans to see them another time.
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Why It is Important to Have a Good Laugh
Facing and rising above life's battles is a serious act. Sometimes, we feel heavy along the way that we tend to forget the value of taking it easy.
One of the great sources of joy in the adventure of life is the wonderful feeling that we have what it takes to overcome — our fears, our problems, our adversities, even pain and death.
Life is out there, shouting at you what it is going to do to you. Face it, love it, live it! Just remember who you are — you are a child of the eternal God; you are a disciple of Jesus Christ. And stand up to death, knowing that nothing can ever destroy you, for you have life that is forever new. So go forty with confidence.
We cultivate joy in the experience of trouble. We also may cultivate it by practicing it, by learning to laugh and be glad. We finally become what we think and what we do. Therefore, if we want to live a joyous life, we will do well to act joyfully. And one way to do so is 'just' to laugh.
Read more...
One of the great sources of joy in the adventure of life is the wonderful feeling that we have what it takes to overcome — our fears, our problems, our adversities, even pain and death.
Life is out there, shouting at you what it is going to do to you. Face it, love it, live it! Just remember who you are — you are a child of the eternal God; you are a disciple of Jesus Christ. And stand up to death, knowing that nothing can ever destroy you, for you have life that is forever new. So go forty with confidence.
We cultivate joy in the experience of trouble. We also may cultivate it by practicing it, by learning to laugh and be glad. We finally become what we think and what we do. Therefore, if we want to live a joyous life, we will do well to act joyfully. And one way to do so is 'just' to laugh.
Read more...
Is Solitude Really Needed?
Today, with the clamor and clutter of modern living, solitude, either by circumstance or choice, is not an option that gets high priority. Do you remember when you last spent time alone?
A mental health expert states that as long as loneliness is kept within bounds, the absence of others makes it possible to order our thoughts, to concentrate better. Many would testify that this can be restorative, strengthening, and healthy.
Is solitude really needed? One young married woman said: "I've never been alone in my life."
Get up in the middle of the night when family members are in deep slumber. Pick out your most comfortable chair. Sit down, and close your eyes.
Now imagine your feet dangling on the cool, clear, blue waters of a mountain lake. Smell the sweet aroma of nearby flowers. Hear the happy songs of carefree birds. Feel the stimulation of fresh mountain air. For a few minutes shut out, as far as possible, all other thoughts, and with this peaceful scene in mind, just meditate.
Meditation Techniques
However, meditation techniques are frequently something else. A former Indian guru, now converted to Protestantism, explained the difference to a group of German churchmen. The goal of Eastern meditation techniques, he pointed out, is to separate oneself from the world of reality and conscious thought, oftentimes by inducing a trancelike condition. In this way, as it were, a person finds himself, comes to grips with his problems and, with the help of his inner self, is able to solve them.
The Need to Be Balanced
Of course, solitude should be pursued in moderation. Solitude could be described as a rewarding place to visit but a dangerous place in which to remain. To isolate oneself too much runs counter to the basic human needs to associate, communicate, and express love. Furthermore, isolation can be the soil out of which the weeds of foolishness and selfishness grow. To be balanced in seeking solitude, we must recognize the dangers of isolation.
Some people today treasure their moments of solitude. True, with so many responsibilities and concerns, finding time and opportunity to meditate in solitude can be a challenge. Yet, as is the case with all things of true value, we must buy out the opportune time.
Read more...
A mental health expert states that as long as loneliness is kept within bounds, the absence of others makes it possible to order our thoughts, to concentrate better. Many would testify that this can be restorative, strengthening, and healthy.
Is solitude really needed? One young married woman said: "I've never been alone in my life."
Get up in the middle of the night when family members are in deep slumber. Pick out your most comfortable chair. Sit down, and close your eyes.
Now imagine your feet dangling on the cool, clear, blue waters of a mountain lake. Smell the sweet aroma of nearby flowers. Hear the happy songs of carefree birds. Feel the stimulation of fresh mountain air. For a few minutes shut out, as far as possible, all other thoughts, and with this peaceful scene in mind, just meditate.
Meditation Techniques
However, meditation techniques are frequently something else. A former Indian guru, now converted to Protestantism, explained the difference to a group of German churchmen. The goal of Eastern meditation techniques, he pointed out, is to separate oneself from the world of reality and conscious thought, oftentimes by inducing a trancelike condition. In this way, as it were, a person finds himself, comes to grips with his problems and, with the help of his inner self, is able to solve them.
The Need to Be Balanced
Of course, solitude should be pursued in moderation. Solitude could be described as a rewarding place to visit but a dangerous place in which to remain. To isolate oneself too much runs counter to the basic human needs to associate, communicate, and express love. Furthermore, isolation can be the soil out of which the weeds of foolishness and selfishness grow. To be balanced in seeking solitude, we must recognize the dangers of isolation.
Some people today treasure their moments of solitude. True, with so many responsibilities and concerns, finding time and opportunity to meditate in solitude can be a challenge. Yet, as is the case with all things of true value, we must buy out the opportune time.
Read more...
Enjoy the Beauty around You
It has often been noted that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." However, although the beauty is there, not everyone will spot it. It may take a painting or a photograph to make you sit up and take notice.
In fact, many artists believe that their success depends more on their ability to see than to draw.
Whether you are an artist or not, you can learn to see more clearly, to notice the beauty around you. The beauty of God's creation is everywhere. It is not necessary to travel hundreds of miles to behold it. Awe-inspiring scenery may be distant, but impressive art can be found in your neighborhood if you look for it and — more important — if you know how to took for it. In other words, you need to go out and look at things in a new light.
The Elements of Beauty
These elements can be discerned in almost every facet of nature. The more often you pause to observe them, the more you will enjoy this art.
Forms and Patterns
This world has multiple forms. Some are linear like the columns of a clump of bamboo or geometric' like a spider's web, whereas others are shapeless like a cloud that changes constantly. Many forms are attractive, whether they can be an exotic orchid, the spirals of a seashell, or even the branches of a tree that has shed its leaves.
When the same form is repeated, it creates a pattern that may also be visually appealing. For example, imagine a stand of tree trunks in a forest. Their forms —each one different, yet similar —create a pleasing pattern. But discern the forms and the pattern they create, there must be light.
Light
The distribution of light gives a special quality to the forms you find attractive. Details are highlighted, the texture is colored, and a mood is created. Light varies according to the time of day, the season of the year, the weather, and even the place where you live. A cloudy day with its diffused light is ideal for appreciating the subtle tones of wildflowers or autumn leaves, whereas the crags and peaks of a mountain range show off their dramatic forms when sculptured by the rising or setting sun. The soft, wintry sunlight of the Northern Hemisphere lends romance to a pastoral landscape. On the other hand, the bright sun of the Tropics converts the shallow sea into a transparent wonderland for snorkelers.
Color
Color gives life to the different objects you see around. While their form may distinguish them, their color highlights their uniqueness. Furthermore, the distribution of colors in harmonious patterns creates its own beauty. It may be a vibrant color like red or orange that cries out for attention, or a relaxing color like blue or green. Imagine a patch of yellow flowers in a glade. The light catches the yellow blossoms, while seem to glow in the morning air, while dark tree trunks fringed by the morning sun form a perfect backdrop. Now you have a picture. All you need to do is "frame" it, which is where composition comes in.
Composition
The way, in which the three basic elements— form, light, and color — combine determines the composition. And here you, as observer, have a crucial role to play. Just by moving slightly forward, backward, to one side, higher, or lower, you can adjust the elements or the lighting in your picture. You can thus crop the picture to include only the elements that you desire. Often, you automatically compose picture when you come across a magnificent view that, is framed by nearby trees or vegetation. But many exquisite pictures, on a smaller scale, may be underneath your feet.
The God's Art
In God's handiwork both big and small are beautiful, and your pleasure will be multiplied if you learn to see the details, which also combine pleasingly. They form miniature paintings that are scattered across nature's large canvas. To appreciate them, all you need to do is stoop down and take a closer look.
Apart from the aesthetic pleasure it gives us, nature's art — both large and small — can draw us closer to our Creator.
Read more...
In fact, many artists believe that their success depends more on their ability to see than to draw.
Whether you are an artist or not, you can learn to see more clearly, to notice the beauty around you. The beauty of God's creation is everywhere. It is not necessary to travel hundreds of miles to behold it. Awe-inspiring scenery may be distant, but impressive art can be found in your neighborhood if you look for it and — more important — if you know how to took for it. In other words, you need to go out and look at things in a new light.
The Elements of Beauty
These elements can be discerned in almost every facet of nature. The more often you pause to observe them, the more you will enjoy this art.
Forms and Patterns
This world has multiple forms. Some are linear like the columns of a clump of bamboo or geometric' like a spider's web, whereas others are shapeless like a cloud that changes constantly. Many forms are attractive, whether they can be an exotic orchid, the spirals of a seashell, or even the branches of a tree that has shed its leaves.
When the same form is repeated, it creates a pattern that may also be visually appealing. For example, imagine a stand of tree trunks in a forest. Their forms —each one different, yet similar —create a pleasing pattern. But discern the forms and the pattern they create, there must be light.
Light
The distribution of light gives a special quality to the forms you find attractive. Details are highlighted, the texture is colored, and a mood is created. Light varies according to the time of day, the season of the year, the weather, and even the place where you live. A cloudy day with its diffused light is ideal for appreciating the subtle tones of wildflowers or autumn leaves, whereas the crags and peaks of a mountain range show off their dramatic forms when sculptured by the rising or setting sun. The soft, wintry sunlight of the Northern Hemisphere lends romance to a pastoral landscape. On the other hand, the bright sun of the Tropics converts the shallow sea into a transparent wonderland for snorkelers.
Color
Color gives life to the different objects you see around. While their form may distinguish them, their color highlights their uniqueness. Furthermore, the distribution of colors in harmonious patterns creates its own beauty. It may be a vibrant color like red or orange that cries out for attention, or a relaxing color like blue or green. Imagine a patch of yellow flowers in a glade. The light catches the yellow blossoms, while seem to glow in the morning air, while dark tree trunks fringed by the morning sun form a perfect backdrop. Now you have a picture. All you need to do is "frame" it, which is where composition comes in.
Composition
The way, in which the three basic elements— form, light, and color — combine determines the composition. And here you, as observer, have a crucial role to play. Just by moving slightly forward, backward, to one side, higher, or lower, you can adjust the elements or the lighting in your picture. You can thus crop the picture to include only the elements that you desire. Often, you automatically compose picture when you come across a magnificent view that, is framed by nearby trees or vegetation. But many exquisite pictures, on a smaller scale, may be underneath your feet.
The God's Art
In God's handiwork both big and small are beautiful, and your pleasure will be multiplied if you learn to see the details, which also combine pleasingly. They form miniature paintings that are scattered across nature's large canvas. To appreciate them, all you need to do is stoop down and take a closer look.
Apart from the aesthetic pleasure it gives us, nature's art — both large and small — can draw us closer to our Creator.
Read more...
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